Love vs. Survival II- Control/power vs. Sourceflow by Sareena Sandhu
I never thought I would be writing this again. Well, I've been on this planet a long time I figure. Lots of experiences- good and bad. My body records them. My mind can access them. The state of energy in the body- how does it change as we go through our struggles and breakthroughs during this time of Ascension?
Two years ago I left a verbally and physically abusive relationship. I stayed in a woman's shelter for three months. I rebuilt my life and my mind. I started at my bottom and realized I had a shattered self-esteem and self-worth. Every "no" I said was followed by another boundary crossed, another word hurled at me, another push or shove. It wasn't until my therapy that I truly learned the power of the word "No". "No" means that you simply won't take it anymore. "No" means that you won't allow any further abuse. "No" means "No". Therapy became a way of life for me. My "inner child" was talking to my "inner mother". The whole inside of me began talking to each other. Simply amazing. In that year I progressed seven years. Then I became an advocate for women and women's rights, protesting when necessary, fundraising when necessary. I thought i was really on the road to recovery. And I am.
Well, finally here I am sitting pretty in September 2011 and I start to feel a little funny about the way someone talks to me. It leaves a residue. I can't quite place it. But I'm uncomfortable. And I have to deal with this person on a business level. Finally, there is a misunderstanding between us. And this person talks to me in such a way that I feel demeaned and smaller afterwards. He looks at me and demands that I repeat what he just said. He wants to make it clear so there is no future misunderstanding.
And what??.. the light bulb goes on..oh hell no! No..no. no.no..no. At that moment, I say to myself- you are conscious in this moment- observe this person's behavior, don't react. Stay in your power. Stay in your power, Sareena. And, at that place, a space opens up for me. The opportunity for my soul to actually grow. I say, "No. No it's not clear because I do not agree. I don't have to repeat what you just said. Your behavior is controlling. I won't do that. No".
In that moment, I have made it. Higher self tosses soul the master test. Repeat the situation in her life. Let her see what she's really made of. Can she shine?? Soul winks at higher self- yeah I see my karma. I get what I'm here to do. This is of utmost importance.
Yes. Yes. And most empoweredly Yes!!!