Love vs. Survival II- Control/power vs. Sourceflow

Love vs. Survival II- Control/power vs. Sourceflow by Sareena Sandhu

I never thought I would be writing this again. Well, I've been on this planet a long time I figure. Lots of experiences- good and bad. My body records them. My mind can access them. The state of energy in the body- how does it change as we go through our struggles and breakthroughs during this time of Ascension?
Two years ago I left a verbally and physically abusive relationship. I stayed in a woman's shelter for three months. I rebuilt my life and my mind. I started at my bottom and realized I had a shattered self-esteem and self-worth. Every "no" I said was followed by another boundary crossed, another word hurled at me, another push or shove. It wasn't until my therapy that I truly learned the power of the word "No". "No" means that you simply won't take it anymore. "No" means that you won't allow any further abuse. "No" means "No". Therapy became a way of life for me. My "inner child" was talking to my "inner mother".  The whole inside of me began talking to each other. Simply amazing. In that year I progressed seven years. Then I became an advocate for women and women's rights, protesting when necessary, fundraising when necessary. I thought i was really on the road to recovery. And I am.
Well, finally here I am sitting pretty in September 2011 and I start to feel a little funny about the way someone talks to me. It leaves a residue. I can't quite place it. But I'm uncomfortable. And I have to deal with this person on a business level. Finally, there is a misunderstanding between us. And this person talks to me in such a way that I feel demeaned and smaller afterwards. He looks at me and demands that I repeat what he just said. He wants to make it clear so there is no future misunderstanding.
And what??.. the light bulb goes on..oh hell no! No..no. no.no..no. At that moment, I say to myself- you are conscious in this moment- observe this person's behavior, don't react. Stay in your power. Stay in your power, Sareena. And, at that place, a space opens up for me. The opportunity for my soul to actually grow. I say, "No. No it's not clear because I do not agree. I don't have to repeat what you just said. Your behavior is controlling. I won't do that. No".
In that moment, I have made it. Higher self tosses soul the master test. Repeat the situation in her life. Let her see what she's really made of. Can she shine?? Soul winks at higher self- yeah I see my karma. I get what I'm here to do. This is of utmost importance.
Yes. Yes. And most empoweredly Yes!!!

Weather patterns and individual healing- same thing

I felt the earthquake on Tuesday the 23rd, 2011. I was on a higher floor in Manhattan. All of a sudden, the building swayed and then, aburst of wind entered through the window. About three minutes later, it registered that we had just had an earthquake. So, this is old news now. Today I find myself writing about the preparation of Hurricane Irene and a piece of my personal puzzle finally coming to a close.

In preparation for Irene, I bought batteries, a radio, food, lots of water. I prepared myself for some quiet time. Reflection is what I felt I needed. I recently have been on the mission for a few years to transform an existing relationship with my mother. Today, I finally got it. I am my own mother. I am displaying the female divine energy of a mother. I have taken it on. I now have the permission to move on from a dead end. In so doing, I acknowledge all the choices which my biological mother made in order to birth me and raise me and now, I let her go. I don't expect anything from her. I won't initiate contact with her. She wants to be left alone. That is what she will receive from me. Many years have passed and I had made so many efforts to reconnect with a woman I tried to understand.
At this point I acknowledge that she is a human being as I am. I respect other human beings and concur with her wishes. Let God be with you.

The conversation between me and my mother was abrupt and short. It took me straight in pain. My mother reiterated her need to not "be bothered ever again" from a phone call from her daughter. She didn't need it and she didn't want it. She was fine (as far as the Hurricane), fine in general and have a nice life. She hung up. Yup..my heart slammed open and closed. Done. It reminded me of why I took on this search so many years ago and "glamourized" it.  I need to see things the way they truly are and not simply how I would like them to be. The facts are: that part of my life is over. I am:my own mother. I have the capability of mothering myself. I can look after myself. I can provide nurturing support. The lesson in this life I have learned has been painful but it made me who I am today. A woman who is empowered in love.

When you have a broken heart, you may do many things to not feel the true pain. That pain if inflicted by a parent, is humungous. But once you move through, just as the Hurricane Irene moves through us, there is clarity. In a lot of the same ways, I idealized my romantic relationships in my earlier years. Once again, not seeing them truly for what they are. The truth is powerful. And it hurts. But we are all on this planet to shift right now, whether that takes 2 seconds or 2 years and that is our destiny.

In the spirit of letting go, the sobs which follow, and finally a sigh, I wish the same spirit collectively occurs as Hurricane Irene moves through the NYC tri-state area and cleanses old hurts and pains to final release.

Welcome to the Evolution!!!

In the last two months, my friends and I have been experiencing some great breakthroughs. We are really evolving, changing at the speed of light and we are happy!!! Issues that have troubled us for years are now resolved. So I'd like to thank my psychic, my healer, my therapist, and my astrologer! No really! Seriously! It takes major backup at times to achieve ones goal!!!!

Post lunar eclipse- progress report

Well, it finally dawned on me today. We were called upon this mission to come here as beings of light to Planet Earth. We thought the mission would actually be easier. In Source, the heavy density of Earth and polarity is quite uncomfortable and difficult to imagine. Somewhere in the past, I signed a contract to be here and shine my Light upon the World. No matter what happens, this is what I have to do. I am a Being of Light. I finally get it and understand now what is required to Ascend. There is no one other than yourself helping you or stopping you. In the next two years when we are closest to the Edge, YOU can do it. YOU can reconnect to your mission, remember who you are, JUMP that Grid and ASCEND!!!V DO IT!!!

Total Eclipse of the heart

Tongue-in-cheek,i titled my post. This 45 day period of 3 eclipses is no laughing matter as I have been speaking to clients, peers, friends and the like about how sudden and explosive this period has been. I myself have almost lost two friendships and had unpredictable moments with friends. I would honestly say this is not the time to meet new people and each of us lightworkers has the amazing ability to manifest exactly what we want in a way inlike that before us.

Introducing the Authentic YOU!

For ten years in my life, I played a role in the underworld. I was at the "party" for way too long, after my drinks had finished and still had my party clothes on when everyone else had their day clothes on. In my upcoming book, "Dark Goddess, Light Goddess"  I talk about playing both sides of the equation and doing so with the gusto, knowledge and full out abandon which I did in my twenties and thirties. I am now completely who I am born to be, stripped away of all of the labels, masks, glamour and clouring which I and society remade. I am Authentic, a force onto myself. Each person's path is different. Not everyone needs intensive trauma to create a diamond. I chose it that way.

Persephone was my role, and now I am relaxing a little taking a trip into the Elysian fields and fairieland remembering the many souls and lifetimes in which I had ease, grace and harmony. Well, I gotta say it to myself, cause it's the truth. "YOU"VE COME A LONG WAY, BABY!"

The Rebirth of Our Planet

On Tuesday morning, I was preparing breakfast and a glass broke on me. That never happens to me. Just that minute I received a psychic flash that some major new event was about to happen. I was terrified. I tested my two closest friends and I called them also. I couldn't calm down until mid afternoone. i kept scanning the news and CNN on- line. I felt it was an issue with security. Well, Four days later and the an 8.9 earthquake in Japan. And a tsunami. This is it folks. Our planet and Gaia- the earthly feminine energy will not take it anymore. It is time. Rebirth. Massive changes in landscape on this planet. Some things are dying and are then reborn. I am in rebirth on a microcosm level mirroring the rebirth on a macrocosm level. Get ready!