Rebirth

Tbhis year, after two long years of recovering from an abusive situation, I finally started exploring my emotions. I had a breakdown or a breakthrough you could say. All those months of planning, leaving my ex, setting up my new apartment, putting stuff in storage, losing my old property has put me on the path for rebirth. I am being reborn. I don't have the same job. I don't have the same friends-most of them at least. I don't have the same identity. I am a different being truly. Something happened to me on saturday. Something which happens to survivors. I finally was able to breathe and see myself for who I really was. I took a breath into being reborn.I felt something. Do you know how many victims of emotional and psychological abuse feel absolutely nothing? Well I did when I was in survival mode. And apparently this "state of being" for me lasted two years. Two years of obstacles, countless job changes, financial shifts, etc etc.etc.

I had begun to make peace with my property which was missing. It doesn't matter anymore. It's not me. The clothing is not me. All of it can be replaced. And if you compare that to my story of survival you may see how much it doesn't matter anymore.

I released Saturday. Cries and tears and sobs. I cried myself to sleep knowing that at the end of that dark tunnel of pain, I am alive and am reborn.