Weather patterns and individual healing- same thing

I felt the earthquake on Tuesday the 23rd, 2011. I was on a higher floor in Manhattan. All of a sudden, the building swayed and then, aburst of wind entered through the window. About three minutes later, it registered that we had just had an earthquake. So, this is old news now. Today I find myself writing about the preparation of Hurricane Irene and a piece of my personal puzzle finally coming to a close.

In preparation for Irene, I bought batteries, a radio, food, lots of water. I prepared myself for some quiet time. Reflection is what I felt I needed. I recently have been on the mission for a few years to transform an existing relationship with my mother. Today, I finally got it. I am my own mother. I am displaying the female divine energy of a mother. I have taken it on. I now have the permission to move on from a dead end. In so doing, I acknowledge all the choices which my biological mother made in order to birth me and raise me and now, I let her go. I don't expect anything from her. I won't initiate contact with her. She wants to be left alone. That is what she will receive from me. Many years have passed and I had made so many efforts to reconnect with a woman I tried to understand.
At this point I acknowledge that she is a human being as I am. I respect other human beings and concur with her wishes. Let God be with you.

The conversation between me and my mother was abrupt and short. It took me straight in pain. My mother reiterated her need to not "be bothered ever again" from a phone call from her daughter. She didn't need it and she didn't want it. She was fine (as far as the Hurricane), fine in general and have a nice life. She hung up. Yup..my heart slammed open and closed. Done. It reminded me of why I took on this search so many years ago and "glamourized" it.  I need to see things the way they truly are and not simply how I would like them to be. The facts are: that part of my life is over. I am:my own mother. I have the capability of mothering myself. I can look after myself. I can provide nurturing support. The lesson in this life I have learned has been painful but it made me who I am today. A woman who is empowered in love.

When you have a broken heart, you may do many things to not feel the true pain. That pain if inflicted by a parent, is humungous. But once you move through, just as the Hurricane Irene moves through us, there is clarity. In a lot of the same ways, I idealized my romantic relationships in my earlier years. Once again, not seeing them truly for what they are. The truth is powerful. And it hurts. But we are all on this planet to shift right now, whether that takes 2 seconds or 2 years and that is our destiny.

In the spirit of letting go, the sobs which follow, and finally a sigh, I wish the same spirit collectively occurs as Hurricane Irene moves through the NYC tri-state area and cleanses old hurts and pains to final release.