This post speaks about the last month and my journey out of NYC. I spent some days with my mother. I forgave her for her abusive ways when I was a child and I got to know her as a person. She was a very hurt soul but still had sunshine in her heart when she remembered herself as a young mother. Then I went to the Vipassana Meditation Center and they taught me how to meditate. I was suddenly engrossed in this new spirital direction. I wa alive and learning new things. Still, with everything going on, I had no clue that I no longer belonged in New York City. I mean - hey wait I suspected it. Things were hard sometimes but never this hard. I'm doing all this spiritual work. no something was wrong. Fnally, finally, my intuition kicks in and I realize. Wow- what a realization. I'm all grown up. I don't need to defer to anyone. I can change my GPS freely. I'm done. It was then that I realized I needed a break from NYC for me. Everything has been done already. No more fresh juice. No more fresh ideas. I am sufficiently worn out. I want to begin in some unknown town and I am freely truely myself now.
Come on, New York, you're like an old lover. you will always have a special place in my heart, You always will. But I've got to move on now and heal and find different parts of myself.
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