Messages and Visions and Guides

This post speaks about the last month and my journey out of NYC. I spent some days with my mother. I forgave her for her abusive ways when I was a child and I got to know her as a person. She was a very hurt soul but still had sunshine in her heart when she remembered herself as a young mother. Then I went to the Vipassana Meditation Center and they taught me how to meditate. I was suddenly engrossed in this new spirital direction. I wa alive and learning new things. Still, with everything going on, I had no clue that I no longer belonged in New York City. I mean - hey wait I suspected it. Things were hard sometimes but never this hard. I'm doing all this spiritual work. no something was wrong. Fnally, finally, my intuition kicks in and I realize. Wow- what a realization. I'm all grown up. I don't need to defer to anyone. I can change my GPS freely. I'm done. It was then that I realized I needed a break from NYC for me. Everything has been done already. No more fresh juice. No more fresh ideas. I am sufficiently worn out. I want to begin in some unknown town and I am freely truely myself now.

Come on, New York, you're like an old lover. you will always have a special place in my heart, You always will. But I've got to move on now and heal and find different parts of myself.

Living Anew

Well.. this is it- big boys and girls.. I'm leaving New York City and every pore in my body is singing singing singing..it's over. I've been here snce after college and I'm done. I no longer am relevant in this city and I am eager to start my life anew somewehere somewhere in Massachusettes. I'll always charge NYC to my "combat years'. But it is over!!!

The symptoms were there.. I was drowning in NYC. I was in a job which I hated in the last two years and I felt taken advantage of. I was working long hours and then- suddenly I wondered what am I a running around for..this is crazy.NYC functions like a huge big matrix and the matrix runs deep. Whether you take the red pill or the blue pill, you are still trapped in a "ratrace". Lots of power, control and money make ts city go arund, but I didn't feel the humanity towrds the end. But there it is.. I spent my early adult years rolling around in it. It's tiring. It's old. And it's dated. There are other cities of prominence.
Thank you for sustaining me for nearly 15 years. Now I'm done. Headed out to the best!