Being able to truly "see"

Over the last four years, this blog has taken on some of the huger topics in life- change in jobs, the ascension, escaping from a physically abusive relationship etc. And some of the lighter topics- Vipassana meditation and a Holistic approach to life, service to God and humanity, goodwill, peace harmony, etc. For four years, I have handled the frantic pace of life, crazy work schedules, publishing guidelines for my book, and life in general. What I'm about to say will shock you- I'm leaving New York City. It's over. My karma with the Big Apple- is for all intensive purposes- done. I am doing this to preserve my sanity and start a brand new life outside the confines of the extreme polarity which exists there. Yes, and I am ready for a softer, kinder approach. Being a warrior will take a toll on you by the time you're 40. Success, ambition, relentless onslaught, dumbed down, desensitization, intensity- all these are words used to describe my experience of life in NYC. I'm happy to report it's now over.

Recently I ripped a contact lens. I had to wait an extremely long time for a pair to arrive and it drove the point home that I am basically blind without my glasses or contacts. I made a decision. I want to see. I want to "see" the truth. I've had glasses since I was 9. I came into this life with the gift of impaired vision, The reason I am calling it a gift is all of my other visible senses and non-visible senses had to work extremely hard to maintain a life in which I could get a "perspective" of life. That work is prepatory.  This morning, with so many problems with my eyes, I visited Derek O' Neill's SQ- Wellness website. I had to squint and hold the laptop way up to my eyes(as you can tell)- since there may be typos in this post. The quote is something like "The way to "see" out of the valley is to take a different perspective. Sorry if I' m skewering this Derek and SQ Wellness people, but I really can't see the screen clearly. As I am writing this, I had an allergic reaction to my contacts and my eyelids started to redden and peel. My eyes are uncomfortable, so I had to order new contacts.
 For the time being, I'm relying more on my hearing, kinesthetics, and spiritual senses.

 But then, I started to think, "Now really, why did I come into this lifetime with the inability to see? What am I missing? It could be said that nearsighted people tend to base life more on logic and thought, rather than faith and perception. We are narrow minded- yes. And our outlook on life is somewhat fixed and "myopic" In my case, this is of stunning proportions. By not allowing my soul to see, I have single mindedly narrowed my way of life, reducing opportunities and other ways of being. Yes, I'm assuming full responsibility for not seeing. Thus, if this is the logic, I can and will change it. I want to see. I will myself to see. Affirmations, healing,responsibility. Another spiritual breakthrough I had is that nearsighted people won't allow life to truly"affect" them, controlling every interaction because they inherently do not trust the world and God. In my case, this is also sadly true. Thouugh, to what level, I never realized before. At this late date and in an effort to regain my 20/20 vision, I am exploring options to heal myself. I belief I can reverse this. I want to be able to wake up and see the world for what it truly is. I now ask the Source and God for it's assistance in regaining my sight. I am ready to see the truth. It may have taken a long time, however, I am open to SIGHT:)!!!!